<p style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt;"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: navy;">成长的寓言:做一棵永远成长的苹果树</span><font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/> </span></font>一棵苹果树,终于结果了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></font>第一年,它结了<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">10</span></font>个苹果,<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">9</span></font>个被拿走,自己得到<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">1</span></font>个。对此,苹果树愤愤不平<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/></span></font>于是自断经脉,拒绝成长。第二年,它结了<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">5</span></font>个苹果,<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">4</span></font>个被拿走,自己得到<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">1</span></font>个。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>哈<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>哈,去年我得到了<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">10</span></font>%,今年得到<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">20</span></font>%!翻了一番。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>这棵苹果树心理平衡了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>其实,它还可以这样:继续成长。譬如,第二年,它结了<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">100</span></font>个果子,被拿走<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>90</span></font>个,自己得到<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">10</span></font>个。<span lang="EN-US"><br/></span><font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">>> </span></font>很可能,它被拿走<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">99</span></font>个,自己得到<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">1</span></font>个。但没关系,它还可以继续成长,第三<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>年结<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">1000</span></font>个果子<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">……<br/>>> </span></font>其实,得到多少果子不是最重要的。最重要的是,苹果树在成长!等苹果树长<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>成参天大树的时候,那些曾阻碍它成长的力量都会微弱到可以忽略。真的,不要太在乎<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>果子,成长是最重要的。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>心理点评<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>你是不是一个已自断经脉的打工族?<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> </span></font>刚开始工作的时候,你才华横溢,意气风发,相信<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>天生我才必有用<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>。但现实<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>很快敲了你几个闷棍,或许,你为单位做了大贡献没人重视;或许,只得到口头重视但<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>却得不到实惠;或许<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">……</span></font>总之,你觉得就像那棵苹果树,结出的果子自己只享受到了很<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>小一部分,与你的期望相差甚远。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> </span></font>于是,你愤怒、你懊恼、你牢骚满腹<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">……</span></font>最终,你决定不再那么努力,让自己<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>的所做去匹配自己的所得。几年过去后,你一反省,发现现在的你,已经没有刚工作时<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>的激情和才华了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> "</span></font>老了,成熟了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>我们习惯这样自嘲。但实质是,你已停止成长了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> </span></font>这样的故事,在我们身边比比皆是。<span lang="EN-US"><br/></span><font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">>> </span></font>之所以犯这种错误,是因为我们忘记生命是一个历程,是一个整体,我们觉得<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>自己已经成长过了,现在是到该结果子的时候了。我们太过于在乎一时的得失,而忘记<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>了成长才是最重要的。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>好在,这不是金庸小说里的自断经脉。我们随时可以放弃这样做,继续走向成<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>长之路。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>切记:如果你是一个打工族,千万不要因为激愤和满腹牢骚而自断经脉。不论<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>遇到什么事情,都要做一棵永远成长的苹果树,因为你的成长永远比每个月拿多少钱重<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>要。许多人因为外在因素的不满不公平,而停止自身的成长消极对抗,丧失了自我更新自我发展的能力----而这却是在当今激烈竞争的社会中生存的要件,我认为一个人能力的强弱主要在于其学习的能力自我更新自我发展,因为这样你的不足你的障碍都只是暂时的,虽然社会有诸多不公平,但是你要发展励志的不满,提高自身能力,为自己创造机遇,为自己…………所有的过程都是为实现这一目标,珍惜自己的过程认真对待,<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt;"><font face="Arial" color="#000080" size="1"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial;"> </span></font><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt;"><b><font face="宋体" color="#000080" size="3"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: navy;">动机的寓言:孩子在为谁而玩</span></font></b><font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>一群孩子在一位老人家门前嬉闹,叫声连天。几天过去,老人难以忍受。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> </span></font>于是,他出来给了每个孩子<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">25</span></font>美分,对他们说:<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>你们让这儿变得很热闹,我<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>觉得自己年轻了不少,这点钱表示谢意。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"<br/><br/>>> </span></font>孩子们很高兴,第二天仍然来了,一如既往地嬉闹。老人再出来,给了每个孩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>子<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">15</span></font>美分。他解释说,自己没有收入,只能少给一些。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">15</span></font>美分也还可以吧,孩子仍然兴<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>高采烈地走了。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/><br/>>> </span></font>第三天,老人只给了每个孩子<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">5</span></font>美分。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>孩子们勃然大怒,<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>一天才<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">5</span></font>美分,知不知道我们多辛苦!<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>他们向老人发誓,<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>他们再也不会为他玩了!<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>心理点评<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>你在为谁而<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>玩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"<br/>>> </span></font>这个寓言是苹果树寓言的更深一层的答案:苹果树为什么会自断经脉,因为它<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>不是为自己而<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>玩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>人的动机分两种:内部动机和外部动机。如果按照内部动机去行动,我们就是<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>自己的主人。如果驱使我们的是外部动机,我们就会被外部因素所左右,成为它的奴<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>隶。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>在这个寓言中,老人的算计很简单,他将孩子们的内部动机<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>为自己快乐而玩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"<br/>></span></font>变成了外部动机<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>为得到美分而玩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>,而他操纵着美分这个外部因素,所以也操纵了孩子<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>们的行为。寓言中的老人,像不像是你的老板、上司?而美分,像不像是你的工资、奖<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>金等各种各样的外部奖励?<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>如将外部评价当作参考坐标,我们的情绪就很容易出现波动。因为,外部因素<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>我们控制不了,它很容易偏离我们的内部期望,让我们不满,让我们牢骚满腹。不满和<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>牢骚等负性情绪让我们痛苦,为了减少痛苦,我们就只好降低内部期望,最常见的方法<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>就是减少工作的努力程度。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>一个人之所以会形成外部评价体系,最主要的原因是父母喜欢控制他。父母太<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>喜欢使用口头奖惩、物质奖惩等控制孩子,而不去理会孩子自己的动机。久而久之,孩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>子就忘记了自己的原初动机,做什么都很在乎外部的评价。上学时,他忘记了学习的原<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>初动机<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">---</span></font>好奇心和学习的快乐;工作后,他又忘记了工作的原初动机<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"> ---</span></font>成长的快乐<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>,上司的评价和收入的起伏成了他工作的最大快乐和痛苦的源头。<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>>> </span></font>切记:外部评价系统经常是一种家族遗传,但你完全可以打破它,从现在开始<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';"><br/>></span></font>培育自己的内部评价体系,让学习和工作变成<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>为自己而玩<font face="Times New Roman"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman';">"</span></font>。</p><p style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt;"><br/> </p><br/>[em05]
[此贴子已经被作者于2006-12-30 13:28:01编辑过] |